Well, that was… a year. I kind of expected to have moved out by now, but then Covid didn’t quite go away in the way that might have been expected. Given that case numbers quadrupled to an all-time high this month, that doesn’t look set to happen for a while yet, either. Oh well. One way or another I’ll get out of here in 2022.
Musically, 2021 was a hell of a year for me. I started the year with a real sense of uncertainty, having spent quite a while sitting on a huge stash of unreleased material from about six or seven scrapped or incomplete albums, not sure what to do with any of them, overwhelmed by a feeling of not wanting to carry on making music. Ultimately, the only way I could find to release them was by emphasising the totally inconsistent nature of the material by making a big, daft, completely varied album called All Roads Lead to Polesworth. And it ended up becoming my most successful album to date. Several reviews, some in print, a fair bit of radio play, staggeringly high numbers of streams, and excellent sales helped gain me a whole bunch of new listeners and a bit of pocket money in the process. The amount of kind words I received about the album was astonishing, and I still feel a bit taken aback by the whole thing to this day. It’s not one of my favourite albums that I’ve made – although I love lots of bits of it – but it felt like the record that got me back on track and brought back the self-confidence I lost a few years ago. Thank you so much to Nick for releasing that and helping me to realise the potential in my own music again.
I also released Shattered Infrastructure, which started as a brief EP before being expanded to a full 80 minute album later in the year. This is actually my favourite of my three 2021 records, and of course, it’s the one that the fewest people have heard. I did get a bunch of purchases as a result of more awareness of my music, but being self-released, it still exists in a bit of a void. It’s also a kind of turning point record, tying up a particular strain of my own music that’s been around for a while – a very rich, lush ambient techno sound – that I feel I’ve taken as far as I can without it becoming repetitive. So it was good to go out on a high.
My third album, Borderlands, is a bit of a weird mixed bag of old and new material mushed together into a collage. It doesn’t really sound like my past collage albums, nor the material I have lined up for next year, but does act as a kind of bridge between the brighter sounds of …Polesworth and my first 2022 release. It’s a dark, murky, experimental record, my first like that in a very long time, and it sold out in two or three days, which was wonderful. Cue more positive reviews – mostly from baffled people talking about how many different sounds and styles are on there – lovely comments online, and radio play. It’s more of a weird experiment than a ‘core’ album, but once again, the hugely positive response did my mind a world of good, so thanks to Phil for the time and love put into the release.
Speaking of Borderlands, I resurrected my project of that name for a self-released tape called Melkur II, in which I expanded the first Melkur‘s sound with the inclusion of folky acoustics. I sold a few hand-made tapes, which was a fun and spontaneous thing to do. I’ve got some ideas for Melkur III which will hopefully be out next year!
It’s not very often I end a year with “hey, I released some really good music this year and people really liked it and I’m looking forward to releasing more music next year.” It’s usually more “I put out some music this year and I quite liked one of the albums and I’m not sure what the future holds.” I do feel more confident about my music at the moment than I have done in a long time, though – Arboretum is the only brief blip in my lack of direction going back to about 2013 – so this really does feel like a great time. Next year will start with my next album, Bone Moor, which is the first step towards a slightly different sound. But more on that when it comes along.
My mental health has been all over the place, which is pretty unsurprising after yet another year like this. That said, the main difference between now and past shit years is in how well I can recognise my problems, accept them and move forward, rather than wallowing, which feels like an excellent step in the right direction. Finding a city I want to move to – Sheffield – this autumn has given me a sense of purpose, and although the past few weeks have been really difficult in some ways (not the best Christmas ever, it has to be said), I do have some ideas of how to sort myself out in the new year. My FSOL blog has taken up a huge amount of my spare time this year, and although in some ways it’s been hugely therapeutic – not only have I rediscovered my love of certain records, but it’s also been a great place to dump all my FSOL-related thoughts so they’re not going around my head all the time – it’s also been a bit of a strain. I’m only a few weeks away from the end of that, and I plan on not replacing it with anything at all. I need more space and time in my days so I feel the freedom of being able to do things on a whim, be able to read and watch and listen and walk more.
I listened to too much good music this year. Literally. There was a point in late summer and early autumn when I had a stack of about 15 CDs on my desk, all of which were albums I wanted to listen to every day. There wasn’t enough time to properly get into everything I bought, and that was also stopping me from picking up other stuff. It’s a small problem, really, and I feel grateful to have found so many albums I genuinely love. Here’s a list of my favourites:
Desperate Journalist – Maximum Sorrow
Chvrches – Screen Violence
The Future Sound of London – We Have Explosive 2021
Lande Hekt – Going to Hell
Dry Cleaning – New Long Leg
Wolf Alice – Blue Weekend
The Joy Formidable – Into the Blue
London Grammar – Californian Soil
The Weather Station – Ignorance
Humanoid – 7 Songs
Margo Cilker – Pohorylle
Pearl Charles – Magic Mirror
Roddy Woomble – Lo! Soul
Next year I’m looking forward to new music from Burial, Biosphere, The Divine Comedy, Tears for Fears, Tangerine Dream, Current 93, Charli XCX, Archive, Sigrid, and, finally, Environment Seven by FSOL.
I read a lot this year – I was on a book a day in the summer – but it was mostly Doctor Who books. For Christmas I received three books, and I’m slowly working through them now. It’ll be nice to get back to a more varied reading list, with lots of other things mixed in with my Doctor Who reading. Especially given how utterly bland most of the Eighth Doctor Adventures are so far.
No New Years Resolutions. I lost almost two stone this year, and then put a few pounds on again at the end, and I hope to continue the general downward trend; I worked out more about my mental health and hope to be able to understand myself further, enabling more personal stability in the process; when Covid allows, I will be looking to move away and take steps to put my life back together again; I’d love to be able to make more music I’m really proud of. These aren’t anything to do with the new year, they’re just generally positive directions in my life.
I hope everyone is safe and well and that you all have a wonderfully prosperous new year, and I hope for strength for those who find difficulty and stress in the coming months.
xxx
enofa 